Eastern or Western - Which parenting style is better?

Eastern or Western - Which parenting style is better?

'There is no school equal to a decent home and no teacher equal to a virtuous parent' – Gandhi. Kids are molded by how parents treat their kids, and the parenting style. Parenting style refers to the ways of raising kids which affects their academic achievement, self-confidence, aggression, psychological strength, and capacity to cope with real-life challenges. There has always been debate about the seemingly opposite parenting styles seen in the eastern and western households. Eastern style is seen to be more authoritarian, strict and demanding as opposed to the western style which seems lenient and permissive. So which one is actually better?

Eastern –

1. Performances in academics show that children from eastern background outperform their peers from western background. This is attributed to their parents’ authoritarian parenting style.

2. Western style focuses more on protecting the kid. Eastern style too protects the kids but also tries to expose the kids to difficult situations, hoping that they would learn through such situations.

3. However, kids who are protected from difficult problems and tasks (as in western style), do not develop what psychologists call ‘mastery experiences’. Such 'mastery experiences' tend to make kids optimistic and decisive and make them think as being capable of overcoming great and difficult challenges. Thus eastern style sometimes gets an edge in this section, as exposure to challenging and difficult situation helps cultivate the confidence for facing the future problems.

4. Kids who are overprotected become weaklings and are unable to handle challenges and hard work needed to survive in a tough world.

5. Authoritarian parents strongly believe that their kids can be the best in school. So the parents push the kids to excel more. That extra push helps, as encouragement with discipline has known to produce good results be it in any part of the world and in any field.

6. Kids who are not pushed by their parents to work hard tend to grow up to be underachievers or slackers.

7. Authoritarian parents consider preparing their kids for the future as the most important goal. The kids are trained to work hard, have great skills, discipline and have inner confidence that no one can take away.

8. The Japanese, Chinese and Indians are excellent examples of this parenting style. Many achievers and stalwarts have been produced in this environment.

Western –

1. The culture of permissive parenting helps kids grow up with the ability to think creatively and be innovative. The entrepreneurial attitude in western countries has been a product of this parenting style. Most of the Fortune Global 500 companies are from western countries.

2. It involves listening to kids and developing their potential without forcing them to obey authority. Being free to pursue what they want, they are able to think outside the box.

3. More of the decision making rests with the children in Western homes. Individuality is of high importance in this style of parenting.

4. Kids who are raised by permissive parents are happier and tend to have less psychological issues.

5. They have freedom of thought and action right from an early age which helps them understand the consequences of actions by first hand experiences and not just by lectures of parents which is seen in the eastern style.

6. Kids in western homes tend to be more assertive and aggressive because they grow up not as blind followers but persons who are masters and creators of their fate.

7. Western parents worry about their children's self-esteem and try to make them emotionally and mentally comfortable as compared to the eastern style where achievement along with emotional and mental strength/toughness takes precedence over comfort.

8. Many kids who are raised by authoritarian parents show sign of psychological problems like depression and anxiety, and some even resort to suicide. They sometimes can’t take the pressure put on them by the parents.

9. Kids who are raised to be submissive tend not to form their own ideas and opinions, and have a subservient attitude. This largely affects brain development, maturity and creativity.

10. Kids, for whom high grades in school are given as primary objective by their parents, only become good in rote learning, and they lack creativity, imagination and innovation.

It just goes to show that there are lots of ways to raise a kid and achieve success and happiness for the child. There must be a balance between the two styles. And the only way to find the balance is to understand our own kids. When we understand them, know their strengths and weaknesses, we can concoct a mix of both parenting styles to suit our needs. One-size-fit-all solution is hardly useful as achievers and losers are found on both sides. The purpose of parenting is to benefit the children and aid their development.